THE POETS: A Black Flowers Interview with Ingrid M. Calderón-Collins
Poet, independent literary magazine editor, tarot reader and healer. I have known and worked with Ingrid for many years now, and her work continues to move me and stir me inside. She is passionate, deep and holds a mirror up to the world so she can write about it. I am so excited to feature her here.
What is poetry to you?
A tool to heal. A mirror. An edited journal entry. A commentary. A succinct observation about a vast occurrence. God for Dummies.
Tell me more about how you first experienced poetry.
I first started writing what I “think” was poetry when I was bedbound after getting hit by a motorcycle on my 9th birthday. That strange and traumatic incident changed me. I started writing A LOT, about what my purpose was in the world, the way the grass twitched, the pornography in my father’s garage, the sounds I heard at night, the haunted house I lived in, the suburbs, how different I was compared to all my white friends, Mormonism in my frantic superstitious Latin home, the war I had left and the abuse I endured in the hands of people who were supposed to take care of me. Poetry became how I unravelled when the world was always trying to keep me in a knot.
What or who was it that inspired you to write poetry?
My circumstances. My literal OBSESSION to learn the English language better than anyone. Being an immigrant meant people assumed a lot about me and for a long time, I was adamant on “proving” myself a writer, poet—whatever. Poetry came naturally. Punching a metaphorical face with a nasty poem was ridiculously satisfying. Now, I don’t really give a fuck about how I’m perceived or if I’m “the best” at anything. It’s liberating to do something like poetry because it feels good, and not for any other reason.
Is poetry a compulsive form of art for you?
One hundred percent, YES. I write about 500 poems a year, maybe more. Most are trash, but I write them and save them anyway.
When writing, do you prefer a laptop, your phone or a notebook?
They all have their time and space. At home, laptop. Out in the world & while at work, phone. While in a calmer state of mind or in nature, notebook.
Do you have a workspace? Or are you happy to work anywhere?
I can write anywhere but my workspace is a void I step into. Once I’m in there I do not talk to anyone and get lost in its profundity. It consists of metaphysical treasures I’ve gathered during my time as a tarot reader at various shops in LA. Artworks from people I admire, my favorite tarot decks, a bookshelf of curated books that inspire, —incense, candles, cauldrons & crystals. Plants and pens. My harmonium in case I want to sit on the floor and play and/or meditate on some sounds for a while. My laptop. My notebooks and journals. It is my haven.
Are you a lone wolf when it comes to your poetry or do you actively get involved in a community?
I’m a loner. I love my own company. I don’t think poetry is something that’s meant for “community.” I have hosted, read at open mics, watched poets like a fly on-the-wall and came to a silent understanding that I was not made to share myself in that way. I can’t deny the high I get after reading,—(especially the accolades) I’d be a hypocrite and a liar if I did, —but once the dust settles,—I realize it is my own deficiency that craves that high and so I disperse it into the ether (lovingly) and go back inside my sheath and resume the beautiful walk into my own shadow.
Do you have any recommendations for our readers?
Bukowski, all of it—, Anne Sexton, Carolyn Forche, Sor Juana Inéz de la Cruz, Carl Jung, Paramahansa Yogananda, John Fante, Alain de Botton, Willa Cather, Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Mark Lanegan, Masma Dream World, Kali Ma, Jesus.
Any links to sites/socials/shops – please pop them here.
TAROT OBSCURO, N8NOFACE, SPELLBOUND SKY, SCORCHED EARTH TAROT,
